Love Nakia

So recently I embarked on a self-exploration journey of femininity. In doing so I read some new books and did some googling. The first book I read was Pussy Prayers by Black Girl Bliss. I loved it. I learned to embrace myself, to love myself flaws and all, and to understand my womanhood. It really helped me to learn about myself. It was informative and had follow-up questions throughout to help you get in touch with yourself mentally and physically. 😊 The second book I read was a real disappointment I almost don’t want to say the title lol. The Black Girls Guide to Being Blissfully Feminine by Candice Adewole in my opinion is really a guide to being a human doormat. These books were on the same reading list that I came across in my research. Based off the title I thought I was getting books that were similar. The book has few points that I agreed with or was able to learn from but it is based more on being feminine enough to “get and keep a man” than just being a woman.

I felt like Adewole attacked the black women of America and pit us against women of Latin and Hispanic descent. She spent a lot of time in the Latin culture due to her past relationships and basically views the women there as more feminine and more acceptable for marrying. She explains that her views are based on the women she saw while living in that culture with her Hispanic husband whom ultimately divorced her. Let me add that Adewole is of African descent and was born and raised in America. I won’t say that it was a complete let down because she made valid points about being a woman and mother, they just didn’t reflect on femininity in any way.

I can’t speak for men and say this is exactly what they want, but as a woman I’m offended. She is attempting to teach women that their femininity only exists to get a man and that her purpose is to serve a man and help him feel masculine. She attributes non feminine women to being ignorant to their culture and having daddy issues (no father figure or having an abusive father). I can’t speak for all women either, some agree with these things and more. Some women are like me and disagree. These things do not make a woman feel feminine or empowered. It gives me indentured servant vibes. So, ladies what do you think? Do you think these suggestions give you feminine vibes or docile doormat vibes?

I thought I was getting a book about embracing my womanhood, loving myself, and understanding my feminine powers. Instead I learned how to be a black stepford wife and to be silent in my own home. Totally not going to happen. Reading this book could set women back 60 years if they aren’t strong enough to step ON the doormat versus become one!