Love Nakia

In the height of Cardi and Meg song WAP, many people mostly men and sexually oppressed women (forgive them for they know not what they are missing) having been spewing hate on the ladies, even other artists. Initially I thought the issue was just the graphic nature of the song but clearly that can’t be it because we have been hearing vulgar music since before either of them was even born. Then I thought, are they really upset that these women are rapping about the benefits that their pussy has provided them? The sad reality was that they were. Why be so mad at women who own their sexual freedom? Furthermore you mad at women who are out of your league anyway…

I saw so many posts from men stating how they wouldn’t marry a woman like that and post from women stating how they were setting poor examples for little girls. But these same men subscribe to Only fans, spend plenty at the strip clubs and let us not forget the men who cheat on their wonderful wives with women just like this. These same women go out half dressed to the clubs, parties, and dates more than they spend time with their kids. Their daughters see them leave the house with skimpiest of outfits on, yet they are concerned that 2 paid music entertainers are not being role models for their daughters.

Sex already comes with a stigma and the moment women start discussing it freely they instantly become sluts and hoes. If you think about the conversation you had with your parents about sex, what did you get from it? If you are woman you most likely got, “save it for marriage, all boys want the same thing and are the same, and don’t be out there being fast(probably got that line when you were like 10 if you’re a black girl)”. Parents didn’t tell girls about how it might make them feel, didn’t talk about birth control, didn’t talk about what to do if they felt pressured by a boy, and they didn’t talk to girls about masturbation (some of us might not be here if they had lol). When parents talk with boys (if they do at all) they get “ here is a box of condoms, don’t bring no babies in my house, and that lil girl better not be in my house while I’m at work”. Families made lighthearted jokes when boys started “showering too long”, wearing cologne, or dressing nicer for a girl’s attention. When young girls wanted to wear perfume, nail polish, or dressing to her actual body type she was “being fast/grown” and had to remove or change her clothes. Its unfortunate that neither gender gets a full explanation of sex. Obviously I’m not speaking of everyone because there are some parents who understand the importance of being your child’s first teacher at life, but sadly there is a large portion that does not. And that is how we end up with generational curses especially in the black community that are so difficult to break.

As a society we have to stop teaching boys that they can do what they want sexually but women cannot. And we have to stop girls that women only serve to please men during sex. The biggest thing is teaching your kids not to judge other peoples life choices just because they are not your own.

I will never forget when I was 10 years old and my mom brought me a pink dress for Easter, it was the first Easter I didn’t have to wear the typical ruffles and lace. My body was starting to change and develop, the dress was made out a soft slinky material so it kind of just fell in place but I was curvy, after trying the dress on at home I was told I could not wear it because it showed too much of my shape and made me look grown. I was 10, still had very child like hairstyles, no boobs, just hips and butt, and my parents were telling me that a pink dress from the kids department that came down past my knees made me look grown. How sway? I didn’t understand then, as I got older, I learned that it wasn’t necessarily my parents who thought it made me look grown. It was society in a whole that sexualized girls and then blamed girls for it. That is how girls grew into women who don’t understand their bodies and who don’t understand that sex should be pleasurable for them. It is the same society that has allowed boys to grow into men who think a woman does not need to be sexually free and that she should only aim to please a man. These are the men mad about a song but not mad about their own actions that perpetuate the environment these women were even able to rap about.

Men are mad because they rapped about men buying and paying for things because they were having sex with them, but there is def a song called Trick’n by Mullage and it basically says “it ain’t trickin if you got it”. So maybe if men focused more on financial security and less on what another woman is doing with her WAP, they could be in better situations. A woman understanding her body and her sexual desires is man’s worse nightmare. Women are not just having sex to please a man anymore. Women are dating more instead of giving all their time and attention to one man while he does as he pleases.

When you google sexual freedom, you get a lot of articles of sexual rights laws which is great but you have to dig through all of that to get to what it truly means for a woman to be able to express herself sexually. When a woman owns her sexuality, she becomes empowered. An empowered woman cannot be toyed with not in the bed nor in the world.